Idiot's Guide to Brexit 8

May’s visit to Brussels on May 12 ended as expected, with EU leaders ignoring her plea for an extension to June 30 (as she knew they would), and offering her the choice between holding elections for the European Parliament on May 23, or crashing out. If the elections happen, then the UK gets an extension until October 31, and the option of leaving sooner if and when Parliament approves a deal acceptable to Brussels. 

With this breather, let’s take stock of how the multi-player game of chicken has pllayed out since my first post on February 22. Simply put, every player but one has pulled to the side of the road, shut off his engine, and gone into the pub for a pint – the Hard Brexiteers, the various stripes of Soft Brexiteer, the 2nd Referendees, the Remainers, and of course May and her dwindling cabinet.

Only the EU has kept its hands on the wheel and the pedal to the floor. And the reason why is that the EU needs the EU a whole lot more than the EU needs the UK, and a whole lot less than the UK needs the EU:

Aithough hard Brexiteers will do their best to prevent it, the UK will very likely hold elections for the EU parliament on May 23. It’s shaping up to be a kind of 2^nd referendum, though not the kind that so many are pining for.

Nigel Farage, the architect of Brexit and founder of the anti-immigration UKIP party, has quit UKIP to start a new, single-issue party named Brexit. Brexit will field a slate in the elections hoping to drain away UKIP, Tory and Labour voters for whom Brexit is the Big Issue.  On the other side of the court will be Remainers from an array of parties, including Labour, Liberal Democrats, Greens, even some Tories, and the new, single-issue Remainer party called Change UK started a few weeks ago by Tory and Labour defectors.

Even if it is not a meaningful election, it will be colourful. The slate of Tory candidates will include Boris Johnson’s father, campaigning as a Remainer. The Brexit party’s slate will include Annunziata Rees-Mogg, sister to Jacob, who, when she ran for a Tory seat some years ago, was told by then-party head David Cameron that she would have to campaign under the name of Ann Mogg. She refused.

Finally, it has probably not escaped anyone’s attention that the EU’s latest Brexit extension deadline falls on Lily’s birthday. Coincidentally, this is Hallowe’en.

So in closing, I wish to thank my esteemed friend and distinguished recipient James Malkin who, on hearing of the new EU deadline, wrote that “this Hallowe’en, Bobby Pickett and the Crypt Kickers’ classic “Monster Mash” will be playing on a device near you.” 

I was 16 when this aired in1962, so I went to the net for a refresher. I discovered to my amazement that Jacob Rees-Mogg covered the song at a recent European Research Group champagne party. Take a listen. I’m not sure what to make of this Cryptic final line in the penultimate verse: “When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you.”

Your thoughts?